Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize