I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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