Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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