I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
