Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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