Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Randomize