Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
