My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
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