Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
