quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Your dad touched me again.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
