i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
