We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
