Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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