it hurts more in the daytime
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
