Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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