only if we run a train.
done.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
