What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
