And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
