i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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