I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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