I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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