Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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