sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
