Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
