This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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