Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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