my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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