Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
just tell him i said nine months
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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