nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
