Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think my moral compass just broke
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
