I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
