Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
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