I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
