i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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