I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
