Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
