would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
