I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
