some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
