i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Randomize
