anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
