Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I party with great urgency now.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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