I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize