I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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