I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
is that a dick in a sweater?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
