there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
