shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
