Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
