I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
