quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize