Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
