I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
