Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Alive.
So much puke
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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