the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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