i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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