Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
