If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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