did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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