My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
