remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
